I can somewhat relate to what OP has said. Arya in my opinion, as opposed to many people's beliefs is a relatively well thought out character and a rare one in that. One could say being an ice queen is Arya's quintessential thing, as this personallity allows her to shove aside anything that gets in her way. To put simply, Arya puts no effort in trying to please anyone, be it book characters or even readers. As a daughter / heir she keeps herself away from her mother's demands, as a self-designated diplomat she finds no difficulty smacking dwarven priests in their temple, and finally as the supposed protagonist love interest she screams "Not me!! Find someone your age plsthxbye" as opposed to every other crummy fantasy love story where the two thousand year old elf maiden suddenly finds no savour in life save the human boy Sue possessing immense cultural barrier and 1/100th her life experiences, at first acquaintance.
In Arya I see a blunt, die-hard, no-compromise individual who's ready to teach a lesson to anyone who tells her be otherwise. She may not be the most amiable character to most, but what a higher-than-life person should be like if made real.
Arya.... or Ismira i feel like if there was another book she would have a life worth documenting. she is after all the one child we know about after the rise of the new riders, but i also like elva